Jessamine's Hangout

[Jessamine]

galled

@Lemon Cheesecake

I don't think its likely the site owner in Voltra will need to reach out to me again to clarify, other than just seeing me back on the site and seeing how I react to being back there. (Which is why writing a letter to be in the immediate present is so important).

This includes: how he chooses to run the site henceforth as he is more regularly online there now, what happened with my accounts. This may include my avatar inventory disappearing, if that is how the database is set up. But I am not sure. I asked about my inventory to the site owner, saying I wanted it intact, but he did not say anything about it. My friend, who also got banned, said they wished they could see their inventory again.

I know I sacrificed a lot, quite more than usual, to ask him for me to be back. Usually, with my experience of how these things work, he should only need to know my username, and only sometimes, email, as it's already in the database. I think he can use the search function.

Vivienne is a NPC. She is a girl who has blonde hair. In the blackout storyline, people wearing masks called Agents of Entropy, captures her. She loses her memory too.

I am sorry to hear about the real Vivienne passing.

Yeah, my friend already has a site in full functioning beta called Picco Picco, and I saw previews of what it looked like. My friend, very importantly, can answer me asap.

It was also very unprofessional, as soon as he banned me, I sent a clear email, asking him to reinstate me. And then just a lot of ignoring on his side. So my friends may want to either come back to Voltra, or more likely, just see me safely back there, as they don't want to waste more of their time in trying to contact the owner.

Well, also other than my obvious nostalgia and love of the site for being friends with people, and re-discovering my love of drawing, I panicked very badly in 2022, where my entire life was screaming at me, when my trauma of tumblr rp re-surfaced, a lot of stress and c-ptsd. I couldn't tell reality and fiction, and television characters were being really cruel to me either through the show or through other people roleplaying. They ostracized me and portrayed me to be evil and contradictorily saying I should just live life while still looking at me and saying I am a bad person, and then that attracted attention to other communities.

I got really anxious about my immediate reality, and how I coordinated my life, was that it had to make sense to me, despite pain and prejudice, as I had suffered a lot of that, before 2022 as well.

This would include ideally and rightly having my digital things and communities back in my entire life (as well as just being in the moment and being friends with them), or clearly noting what went wrong with that (note I did that so carefully and thoroughly in start 2024, to understand my executive dysfunction as best I could and stay longer in my body, despite prolonged and repeated action in which within I was also trying to just breathe and talk).

Also with what I am doing right now, with able to tangibly touch in reading and understanding different communities, I can't have Voltra be the main / only focus, so that is also why I need them back. I also hang out with my sister Juliette, and I don't want to keep talking about my sadness of Voltra to her.

I have ocd, and suffered a lot in a slow drowning way, and got really high stress especially through university and after. I did very well in university and also community college after. I chose and fought to get into university, to pursue journalism and media arts production, so I identify with Sam Winchester in Supernatural.

I also in tumblr rp, before 2022, suffered a lot of ghosting and vague blogging and lots of outside drama unrelated to me in the nothingness of a community, and developed really bad violent schizophrenia (similar to the Basilisk in Harry Potter, where Harry hears the snake hissing in the walls).

I also suffered a lot of domestic abuse with my parents, and needed to diagnose their endless shouting (like getting a job, walking outside).

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I am sorry you have had so much issues with the social media.

I don't do social media, too much drama.

I only have done online communities where I can stay private.

I only watch shows/movies that are entertaining, allow me to learn, don't "haunt" me afterwards, so I stay away from horror or abusive shows. There is enough issues in the world, I want something uplifting.

I have a job, I feel working is important, it allows independency & the ability to purchase what I need, spend things on what I like. I like to feel responsible & in control of my life & not dependent on others.

I like to walk outside in nature, sunshine is good for the body & nature is beautiful & can be refreshing to the soul.

You should be proud of yourself for not only being disciplined to finish University & College but doing well.

Have you decided what you want to do with your degree in journalism & media production?

[galled]

The hardest part of life is accepting (there's that word again) we have very little control over anything (lack of control and loss is the ultimate lack of control). The number of things we actually do have control over is miniscule by comparison.

I've found the only way to get out of a totally bummer life is to embrace the things you do have control over--acceptance that you have no control over overwhelmingly most things is part of the "focus on the positive things" thing. It's really really REALLY hard (but not impossible!) and you'll most always get road blocks/challenges along the way, but if you keep at it (problem solve) and do things to get any missing resources you lack (which includes enlisting the help of those that love you) you can overcome and make progress. (Progress is progress and overcoming is rewarding on so many levels!)

Everyone has to make the decision (under your control!) on how you want to deal with the things you have no control over/live your life.

The coolest thing is after you get experience (wins!), the next barriers become easier/familiar (some call it experience and/or maturity). The next thing you know you'll help others who are where you were (struggling) and you can help them (that pay it forward thing). This is what makes life better for everyone~!

I hope you're having a wonderful day!