Corrupt a Wish

[Polaris]

Granted, but now you're the last living person on Earth (what to do with all that money and things now ooh).

I wish I could eat ice cream as a midnight snack without feeling guilty.

[npixelz]

Oof

Granted, but now you can only eat at midnight and it's the only thing you can eat. Worry not, however, for I am a benelovent God, you will still be able to live even though that isn't really enough to live off of.

I wish I got money for nothing. (And my chicks for free... Lol couldn't resist. Ignore the chicks for free part)

[Polaris]

Granted, but because you were essentially "printing" out money for nothing you increased the inflation rate high enough to effectively devalue the currency... oops!

I wish I could swim in an ocean full of all kinds of french fries!

[npixelz]

Granted but you're badly cut all over and the salty French fries are getting salt in your wounds.

I wish I had a pet Phoenix

[Nek0Nerd0]

Granted, but its fire destroys parts of your home.

I wish my room was clean.

[npixelz]

Granted, but now you can't stop there. You now have an overwhelming urge to clean every room of every house in the world.

I wish I could have no leg or facial hair, and slightly more feminine features so I could cross dress just a little, maybe in cosplay or something

[Polaris]

Granted, but now that you don't have leg and facial hair the skin in those areas is extremely sensitive and easily irritable... rosacea, rashes, and plaque on skin here we come! (Might wanna wish for some cetaphil hydrating lotion & cream hmm...)

I wish I had a lifetime supply of pizza

[npixelz]

Granted. You get one pizza. As soon as you finish it, you die. And you can't eat anything else.

I wish I could change my voice any way I want and talk in and understand every language

[Polaris]

Granted, but now you've become so overworked and overused as the world's best translator and best voice actor (without any proper compensation, too!) that you swear off translating, voice acting and speaking other languages forever and become voluntarily mute.

I wish I could travel to another habitable planet in the universe with friendly extraterrestrial life.

[npixelz]

Granted, but they are too friendly and don't respect or understand boundaries. At all.

I wish I could control time

[Polaris]

Granted, but the time gods only allowed you the power to control time for 5 minutes.

I wish I could bake the best chocolate chip cookies in the whole world!

[npixelz]

Granted, but you can't eat them, and everyone in the world wants them, to the point of contemplating murder.

I wish I was a superhero

[Polaris]

Granted, but your innate laziness overrides everything so you spend your days as a couch potato rather than using your powers for the greater good.

I wish I could grow watermelons in my garden

[npixelz]

Honestly, that seems pretty accurate.

Granted, but bugs come out in swarms to consume them.

I wish I could control matter

[Polaris]

Granted, but your obsession with matter manipulation and proving it to all the scientists in the world drove you to accidentally manipulating the entire world beyond repair.

I wish I had a car